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Three hours. She just spent three hours in my kitchen. Which is gorgeous now.

And she's moved to my bathroom now.

In terms of housekeeping - I lose.

ETA: Bathroom is now glowing. And, yeah. I win. And she wins because I paid her for her time and effort. I don't need to see dirt.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

miriam-heddy.livejournal.com

People go into domestic work for all sort of reasons, including a certain flexibility to the job that often allows women (and it is, primarily, women) to care for their children. And there are many reasons people can't get a "better" job beyond intelligence and literacy. Many smart women who speak fluent English are still working in service industry jobs because they have little training in technology, which is often necessary for office work of the sort that Deb does. And for older women who don't have computer skills or office work experience, it can be doubly hard to find an employer willing to take a chance on them.

The fact of the matter is, the woman Deb hired knows more about housekeeping than Deb does, and is more organized, more thorough, and has a better eye for and attention to detail. Kudos to her for a job well done!

It's sometimes hard to admit that we've failed at something like housekeeping, and I understand why Deb may feel a little weird about that realization, but there's no need for any of her friends to diminish the lives and skills and abilities of women who clean houses in order to elevate Deb's sense of her own accomplishments.

From:

mamadeb.livejournal.com

As it happens, she does not speak fluent English. As it also happens, she cleans with great skill and knowledge, and I pay her more than she asks because she has this skill.

It's a shame that something we all value so much can be gotten for relatively little because it's assumed that it can otherwise be done for "free" - that is, the time and labor of the homeowner and because it's work traditionally done by women, or because it was done by those deemed of a lower class.

It's skilled work. It's time consuming and labor intensive, and it's never done. The worker gets a momentary feeling of accomplishment and then it has to be done all over again. However, just as I enjoy the process of cooking, I know there are people (of both sexes) who enjoy the process, or who like knowing that they are making something neat and clean and organized. I can understand that, and I believe this woman is one of those - she had every sign of enjoying the challenge I gave her.

And I'm doing something similar when I sit at my desk - the same round of chores over and over again, and it's not physical and it's much less challenging. And it, too, is traditionally women's work.

From:

miriam-heddy.livejournal.com

Just wanted to say--and your probably know this--that I wasn't quibbling with you, Deb, or anything you said, but with that one comment I replied to, which I found more than a bit offensive. The presumption that domestic workers aren't smart or fluent (and that if they were they'd get better jobs) is both simplistic and offensive, and ignores the complexities of women's places in the workforce, and the pressures that keep so many women in low-paying, physically demanding, and underappreciated "service" work.

And you and I are in complete agreement with the de-valuation of much of what's considered "women's work." And also, that I grew up in a middle-class household in which my mother hired someone to come in and help her once a month, and that my own housekeeping skills are remarkably minimal, but I can't actually afford having anyone in, so my husband ends up being the primary "cleaning lady" (and I use that term with full irony).

From:

kressel.livejournal.com

As I've said before, I'm not a terrific housekeeper. A few years ago, when I was much much more prolific in my writing than I am now, I downright neglected my housework, and it showed terribly. I really had to get myself in balance, and the book Becoming A Writer by Dorothea Brande is what did it.

It's a very psychological book. Brande divides the writer's mind into two main tools, unconscious and conscious, or imagination and inner editor if you prefer. Much of the book is about balancing those two forces, but she also suggested something she called a wordless vacation.

Our minds, Brande states, work in language. So when you're at a stuck place in your writing, a good way to generate ideas is to take a wordless vacation. Take up some wordless hobby, like gardening, and throw yourself into it. While you're doing it, you shouldn't talk on the phone or listen to talk radio. You shouldn't even listen to music with lyrics. Once you have isolated yourself into this wordless state, your own mind will fill the gap, and voila! Now you know where to take your story next.

When I first read that I thought, "Oh, like I have time to take up a new hobby," but then I realized that cooking and cleaning are wordless activities I have to do every day. Since then, some of my best ideas have come to me while chopping vegetables or doing dishes. And it has also given me incentive to clean when it was previously lacking.

Of course, I think you should still keep your cleaning lady. But while you're de-cluttering, think your own thoughts.

From:

mamadeb.livejournal.com

You can do that? My goodness.

When I chop vegetables, I plot stories or free associate about domestic history or plan what else I'm going to do - and I can't spare attention from the chopping much because knives=sharp. (Hands=many, many tiny knife and burn scars. I call them occupational hazards.) Or where I got the idea for this meal or...my goodness, endless things. Social history is a big one.

As for decluttering - it's constant thought. "Do we keep this or not? Where does it go if we keep it?"

If I gardened, I'd talk to the plants if nothing else. The hardest thing to do at night is turn the words off.

From:

kressel.livejournal.com

there's no need for any of her friends to diminish the lives and skills and abilities of women who clean houses in order to elevate Deb's sense of her own accomplishments.

You're right. I'll try to be more careful about my judgments.