Words, you see, do hurt

[mamadeb]

Many of us write; all of us read. And we know words do have power because they can shape the way we perceive something or someone, they can change our moods in moments and they can cause damage that is almost impossible to repair.

This is why in Judaism, we are supposed to guard our tongues, we are supposed to not talk about other people or listen to gossip, or believe it when we hear it - because evil tongues can do plenty of hurt.


Yesterday, I was on the bus with this young family - Mommy, Daddy, two older kids and one baby. The kids were excited, the little boy was wet from a fountain (and rather proud of it), but they behaved well - they weren't quiet, but they weren't *loud*, and they stayed where they were told without arguments or whining. When a seat became available, Daddy sat down and cuddled his son, even though he was wet. And at one very charming point, the two older kids sang for the baby, who smiled and kicked and gurgled at that. It was just wonderful. Far too often on public transport, kids are NOT like that, and parents are just as loud telling them to behave. And this applies to all racial groups equally. As it happens, this family was African-American.

They were making everyone around them smile.

About two stops from their own, an old lady came on the bus, leaning heavily on her cane. The father not only stood up, but he carefully handed her into his seat, demonstrating very nicely what a gentleman does to his son. Two stops later, they gathered stroller and baby and kids and got off. And the old lady turns to me and says, in a voice full of vitriol, "Your taxes pay for them! All that welfare goes to them."

I was shocked into speechlessness. There was no sign this family was on any sort of assistance and no reason to assume they were other than their skin color. Her hatefilled speech would have been bad under any circumstances but that it was about people who'd treated her with kindness made it even worse. I knew nothing I would say could change her mind and I didn't want to get into a fight on the bus (and then a friend of mine got on and proceded to drag me to an Instant Theater thing at the local library), so I just said nothing. But her words almost poisoned a lovely experience.

This brings me to the events last night, with that experience fresh in my mind. I first heard of witchqueen's protest from someone who disagreed with it. Which means I spent a lot of time arguing with that person. Because the word "miscegenation" hit me hard - it's such a thankfully old-fashioned term, but it carries such an freight of discrimination and death, and I still can't understand how anyone could not react that way. And when I read what Zvi actually said and protested about, it was even worse - she wanted to change a label. She didn't say a word about the content. And to see bestiality conflated with it...oh, my goodness.

I don't understand how people at this point in our history could think such things are acceptable, or that protesting such things are censorship.

liviapenn has compiled a list of posts about this here.

Comments

[vass]

Because the word "miscegenation" hit me hard - it's such a thankfully old-fashioned term, but it carries such an freight of discrimination and death, and I still can't understand how anyone could not react that way.

Sometimes, I just. You know what I managed to forget, while watching this whole discussion and fuming and commenting and so on? I managed to forget the term's Nazi context. Understandably so, since we were discussing the word's American origin and context. It took a comment from ratcreature about the German translation and connotations to throw me back into my own family history and remind me that, yeah, this applies to me too, me and my Jewish grandfather and Gentile grandmother. I was so busy being angry on other people's behalf (and, you know, as a human being)... I can't believe I missed that.

[mamadeb.livejournal.com]

Oddly enough, I *didn't* think about that. I was thinking in purely American terms.

But, yes, Jews have been called animals, too - we're just considered very *clever* ones. And we know that while things are good here and now, they can change in an eyeblink unless we keep constant vigilance.

Included in that, for both decency and self-interest, is watching out for others. That slope is slippery.

[vass]

But, yes, Jews have been called animals, too - we're just considered very *clever* ones.

*nod* It's what attracted my father (a historian) to his field of study, the ethnic Chinese diaspora. He was seeing the same stereotypes of slyness and greed, the same mistrust. Complete with pogroms.

[mamadeb.livejournal.com]

I've seen that comparison before.

It's what happens to landless people who are forced to make their money through commerce and moneylending - keeping things liquid so they can move in a hurry.

It shows it's as much historical/economic forces as it is religion - actually, does religion play a part in this?

[vass]

actually, does religion play a part in this?

I don't actually know, I'll have to ask my father. My guess would be yes, but not nearly as much as for Jews. Social and dietary customs, appearance etc, for sure, and with the same anger at them for not assimilating, coupled with distrust for those who *do* try to assimilate.

[pocketnaomi.livejournal.com]

Being considered clever animals is more dangerous than being considered stupid ones. People who truly, in their deepest heart, believe that you are inferior to them will hold your life cheap -- they'll disparage you, dismiss you, throw you out to starve, enslave you, kill you if it suits their convenience for some other reason or if you try to challenge that belief... but they don't need to bother attempting to wipe you off the planet. People who truly, in their deepest heart, believe that you might just be *superior* to them will stop at nothing to exterminate you, because your very existence puts them in terrible danger.

Neither is a safe place to be, neither is an acceptable way to treat someone else, of course. And there are some balances... I'm convinced that one of the primary reasons the American religious right hasn't gone full-scale after the Jews in the last ten years is that they're afraid we actually *do* control the money and the press, and don't dare take us on. It's just different kinds of awful, not better or worse, but I suspect being believed superior is more outright deadly even if less unpleasant in between times.