Alone

[mamadeb]

jonbaker is spending the next few days with his parents in their country house. They had to be in the city this weekend, so when they drive back, he'll go with them, and he'll take the bus back on Thursday.



I'm staying home alone. I will miss him - in fifteen plus years of marriage, we have spent only a few nights apart. But. This is a good thing. Every summer, we visit his parents. And every summer, we get into a big, screaming fight about it. I have nothing against his parents, but spending several days in the country with very little to do, no control over the television and limited computer use (they only have dialup, which is both slow and ties up the phoneline. And cellphones don't help, as they're on the top of a mountain with no antennae nearby) is excruciating for me. I'm a city girl. Rolling mountains of green trees are lovely, as are black, star-filled night skies. But not for days on end. Also, I have bad hay fever and there are times I literally can't breathe up there.

And both Mom and I have strong personalities that tend to clash at times - plus while we're on the same diet,nominally, she's stricter than I am and will now watch every bite I eat like a hawk - and she will lecture at every meal. There's also the conversation thing - I say something. She jumps in with her own tangential topic before I get a chance to say more and gets upset when I try to wrest it back. Or go to another topic in general. And her kashrut is...casual at best.

Jonathan was told to take his own lunch for the trip up because they will eat rest-stop food. Or diner food. Which means he'll sit in a treif restaurant with a paper cup of coffee or soda, watching them eat treif. And somehow, it's his fault. Or possibly mine. Because I've made him so superfrum he only eats kosher cheese now. Or something.

Anyway, he does want to visit his parents - he *likes* the country. He'll be dependent on his father for any sort of escape from the house, since he doesn't drive, but he'd get to spend more time with his father, so that's a plus. And while her kashrut is casual, I do trust it most of the time, and she's a good cook. He might starve anyway because, since she and Daddy like smaller portions, she give them to everyone, but he'll survive. (I used to make sure to get a couple of pounds of pistachio nuts - comfort food, entertainment *and* nourishment. I can't do that any more because of my own diet.)

So he's going without me - his parents are fine with that. In fact, I suspect they're thrilled to not have me moping around being miserable. I would be. And we did not have a big screaming fight, either.

I'm not happy being alone, but this really is the best solution.

Comments

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

This does sound like a good solution.

yaoobruni and I often do similarly. At least once a year I visit my family in the South, which he doesn't usually enjoy (for a variety of reasons, some of which are cultural and some of which are climate), and we've found in our years of marriage that often it's just a better idea for me to go alone than for him to schlep with me and have a crummy time. *wry grin*

[mamadeb.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I'm realizing that, and I actually do love my inlaws.

But tonight will be strange.

[lolaraincoat.livejournal.com]

Ah, in-laws. I send Fishwhistle off to see his parents on his own as much as possible, but we don't call it separate vacations, exactly -- we call it throwing him to the wolves.

[mamadeb.livejournal.com]

Nod.

Also, as I am at work right now, I'm clearly not on vacation myself.

[tod-hollykim.livejournal.com]

It is strange, but at the same time, you can boogie in your underoos if you want. ;-D And maybe rewatch something you want to that Jonathan is tired of seeing one more time.

I'm the same way- country is cool, but I loove the city. When I lived down on LBI, it was alright. I had family, but there was no mass transit and I do not drive nor could have afforded to drive. And there was *nothing* on the island during the winter. And while I walk during the good weather, winter winds made it impossible for me with my asthma. Give NYC, mass transit, places open 24 hours, and all that any day!

Even with gun shots in the neighborhood at night, it's better. Granted I would hear guns down on LBI, but that was during hunting season and they were usually on the mainland (you know it's quiet when you can hear shotguns from 4 or 5 miles away!). At least they are polite shooters here- they usually don't shoot until well after midnight. ;-D

[mamadeb.livejournal.com]

Excuse me? You think I don't dance around less than streetclad around my husband?

[malkaesther.livejournal.com]

Of course not, us good orthodox women are covered head to toe at all times, dontcha know?

[tod-hollykim.livejournal.com]

LOL! Yeah, but now you dance to the music you like and he doesn't! Like I never do the Tom Cruise bit to Old Time Rock & Roll unless I was alone. It's a tradition. ;-D

[malkaesther.livejournal.com]

While it is hard to be apart sometimes its for the best. And when he gets back maybe you'll feel like you are on your honeymoon again, they do say absence makes the heart grow fonder.

[mamadeb.livejournal.com]

Yeah, well. We already get that. Cyclically, as it were. :)

It is for the best. I just need to figure out what to do about dinner.

[malkaesther.livejournal.com]

When I'm away llennhoff plans meals with friends that he does not normally get to see and they eat things I would not eat, like Indian.

[wolfshark]

This year, Jim and I did/are doing separate cons as our vacation. Miracle of miracles, we haven't had one fight this summer. I wonder if it's related?

[mamadeb.livejournal.com]

Hmmm.

We do and don't do separate cons - he doesn't want to go to all the ones I go to, but I do want to go the ones he wants to.


The deal is I go to one media con a year. Except I'm not going to any this year - con.txt conflicted with a joint con, writercon happened during a bad time, I don't want to go to Eclecticon (and it's too close in time to Philcon), and Vividcon - well, wasn't going away the weekend before he went away, and while I like vids, they're not my main fandom thing.

I *want* to go to Escapade, but it's probably out of the question. It'll probably be Connexions, with me cleaning the house for Pesach a week early.