Question of Orthodox Jewish etiquette

[mamadeb]

I've been invited to a sheva brachos.*

I've been to sheva brachos in the past, but they've all been fannish/casual to one degree or another, so work-level clothing worked fine (or was even more than required.) Or were on Shabbat, so, you know, Shabbat clothes worked fine.

But this is on a weekday night.

What do I wear? Especially since I'll probably be leaving for it right after work?

It's taking place in someone's home. They're not terribly formal people, so that's probably a clue.

I can wear

1. Slightly nicer than usual work-clothes (skirt and sweater)
2. Shabbos type clothing (wool skirt, sweater set, necklace)
3. Slightly casual suit (for which I need to find the skirt. :))
4. Fancier suit that I would need to bring and change into at work.

All would be worn with a matching/coordinating headscarf.

I'm leaning towards number 2 given everything.

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* Sheva brachos are a week of dinner parties held after a wedding in honor of the bride and groom. The same seven blessings (sheva brachot) that are said under the wedding canopy are said during the grace after the meal. It's a way of spreading the celebration throughout the community. Each dinner party must have a minyan and each minyan must have at least one man who has not been to either the wedding or previous sheva brachot. It is only after this week that a couple will go on honeymoon, and they may well postpone it even further.

Comments

[kattahj.livejournal.com]

I have absolutely no experience on this and am only taking a stab in the dark, but I would say #2 too. It's unlikely to be "overdressed" but shows that you've made an effort.

Am starting to think that perhaps it's a pity dress code is no longer a given on invitations...

[gingicat]

I'd also go with #2. (As a less-observant person, I tend to go for more-formal when attending Orthodox events anyway, erring on the side of caution.)

[magid.livejournal.com]

Most of the sheva brachot I've been to have been far from formal, even though the people weren't fannish :-). I'd think 2 would be good no matter what; nice enough even if others are more formal, not so elaborate that if others are very casual you'll feel out of place. Though you'd likely be able to do 1 as well.

[penmage.livejournal.com]

I suppose it depends on the type of people hosting it and attending. For example - I'm clothing shopping for my own sheva brachot. At the one held by my friends, I'll be wearing much more casual clothes than the ones held by N's parents friends - because that's what everyone else will be wearing, too.

[estherchaya.livejournal.com]

I'd go for number 2.

[rosehiptea.livejournal.com]

I would do #1. (Because of what you said about them not being terribly formal people.) But everyone else seems to think #2, so maybe that is better.

[chaos-wrangler.livejournal.com]

That's pretty much what I was thinking. It also depends on how formal (style-wise) the couple themselves tend to be.

[ginamariewade.livejournal.com]

It's better to be overdressed than underdressed. But I think a tiara would be a bit overdoing it.

[ohevet-likro.livejournal.com]

When is it - tonight? Because if so, then this is a little late :)
If not, I would say in between 1 and 2. There is no need for suits, especially fancy suits, as it is in their home. I wore suits for my own sheva brachot, but for my sister's, I wore sweaters and skirts.
You can get away with a blouse/sweater/sweater set on top, and a nice skirt on the bottom.
Things tend to me looser and more casual when it is in someone's house, rather than a restaurant (or a hall - my cousin had one of her sheva brachot in a hall in Boro Park - that required a suit). It's more personal and intimate. It also tends to be more crowded so if you have something you wouldn't want to get splashed with something off a serving tray as it passes, I wouldn't wear it.
I wouldn't wear a sweatshirt with a jean skirt, but otherwise, anything goes really. I hope this long winded answer helps.
Mazal tov!

[taffimai.livejournal.com]

3. Slightly casual suit (for which I need to find the skirt. :))

Depending on why it's casual, I'd go for this one. In my community, the standard was to wear a Rosh Chodesh outfit, but I know you said that people in your community don't dress up for Rosh Chodesh.