Meme

[mamadeb]

Gacked fromfilkerdave:

"I turned on anonymous posting, and turned off IP Address Logging. I want you to post anything that you want.

Anything.

A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love - anything. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post twice if you'd like.

Then, if you want: put this in your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say."

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

i am scared i will kill myself one day, and regret it later.

[(Anonymous)]

Just once in my life, I'd just like to go to a bar and hook up with a woman I don't know and have mind-blowing sex in the car.

[(Anonymous)]

I wonder how you reconcile your Orthodox Judaism with your involvement with slash fanfic.

[(Anonymous)]

I have had mild crushes on half a dozen LJ friends including cmshaw and darthneko which makes me afraid to talk to them in person because I am afraid they know or would guess.

My last lover (2 years ago) dumped me after one encounter and I don't know why for sure. I don't think I'll ever have another one because I don't ever open myself up for the possibility any more.

[(Anonymous)]

sometimes when I get in my car I think I might not make it to work because I am so tired I could go to sleep and crash and die and then I think that would be good and almost wish it would happen because I am tired of life too and sometimes I just don't care and if it killed me fast it would be okay but then I get scared it wouldn't so I've always stayed awake.

[(Anonymous)]

As I get older, I have had to face the frightening idea that maybe William Shatner really is sexy.

[(Anonymous)]

I have, or had, a friend who turned out not to be the same sort of friend to me as I was trying to be to her. And that's fine, because sometimes people have different expectations. Normally I don't care; I've managed to adjust my expectations of her, and I don't feel hurt anymore. But it makes me just crazy when I see other people going on and on about what a good friend she is. I want to shake them and shake them and say ONLY FOR NOW, DON'T YOU SEE?

Sigh.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm in love, and my partner has given no indications of being likely to leave me, but I'm still terrified of it happening. Because if it did happen, then I'd be more alone than I've ever been. In terms of real friends, people I can tell anything and call at 2 AM and be myself around, I have no one else.

And I fear that I don't know how to make real friends any more.

[(Anonymous)]

I went to a support group for bisexuals, and these people were talking about how they knew they were bisexual from when they were young teenagers, and I told myself that I was just straight and a poser. Then I cried in my car, and called a helpline on my cell phone. And later my therapist asked me all these confusing questions about whether I had gone there to meet someone of the same gender in the first place (yes, really) and if so why, and I couldn't figure out if she was criticizing me for going or not. I told her I wanted to die because no one would ever love me again and I'm a horrible person and she just kept telling me to try to meet more people face-to-face. I don't want to. Who wants to meet someone like me?

[(Anonymous)]

I have a crush on one of my LJ friends. I won't say his name, because if for some reason he saw this he'd be really curious who it was and I'd end up telling him. And he'd probably just let it pass but he'd never think of me the same way again. I try not to talk to him much, even though talking to him is one of the only things that keeps me going, because I might tell him, and... I don't want that to happen. I feel totally stupid because this has happened before and I shouldn't be doing it.

[(Anonymous)]

The fact that I love him and he doesn't love me isn't physically painful to me anymore -- but I wish I could get it all the way through my head that not only doesn't he love me, but also he never will, and therefore my patient, quiet stoicism will in fact have no payoff, ever. Not ever.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm a virgin well into my adult years and I have no special interest in changing that, other than a desire not to be a dried up feeder stream in the gene pool. On the other hand, I'm very annoyed that I don't have to actually enforce this preference of mine, because no one has ever so much as asked, including at drunken college parties. It annoys me. Women no prettier than I am have husbands and several children. And it's not like I've actually voiced my beliefs, so it's not guys going, "Nuh-uh, not going with prissy-girl there," because they don't know. There's never been occasion to discuss the subject. Which makes me want to scream "What's wrong with me????"

I am afraid of dying alone and rotting in my house until the smell makes the neighbors call someone.

[(Anonymous)]

Sometimes I think I am actually crazy. It seems like I get suidically depressed over the littlest work stress. I hate my job soooo much and I can't leave it because I wouldn't get another. I would almost rather work retail again than walk into that building one more time to be harassed and bullied about by the management (although no one could never prove that's what's happening).

I should be happy. I have my wonderful husband, I'm getting by, paying the bills, making my way in life, and I'm sickeningly depressed and halfway suicidal all the time, and I hate my life. I've gained over a hundred pounds in the last year, and I don't know how or why. I go to work, come home, and go to bed, because we don't have enough money to go out, unless it's for something special. I get sick all the time. I have horrible headaches and I'm constantly having visual disturbances, dark spots, flashes.

I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I want to be happy and healthy again, but I have no idea how to get there or even if it's possible.

I sometimes wish I had a horrible disease like cancer or something because that would mean something is really wrong with me and it's not just all in my head.

I sometimes wish I could just die.

[(Anonymous)]

If I should ever become pregnant out of wedlock, and the father isn't interested in marrying me or raising the child himself, you are on my shortlist of people I would contact and ask, "Do you want to adopt this baby?"

[(Anonymous)]

I am always plagued by the fear that I am a poseur and am not actually competent at any thing I do-- I just make a good show of playing pretend. I live in terror of people finding out. Whenever something doesn't work, I blame myself first even if I know other people had something to do with it. I assume other people blame me too.

[(Anonymous)]

So, do you regret opening this forum to all us angst monkeys yet?

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think I'll be able to make it out of college. I don't think I'll be able to hold down a real job. I know I can't manage the real world.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't want to have kids. People tell me this is wrong, that it's unnatural for a woman, but they can't change my mind about it. i abolutely don't want to. It could be because I am single, but I felt the same way when I was in a relationship. A former parner was mad at me because of this.

[(Anonymous)]

I have a couple of people on my f-list that i know in RL and everything they write in their LJ p***es me off but they would be mad and hurt if I unfriended them.

[(Anonymous)]

I have an alcoholic parent and from time to time, when they were drunk and abusive, I've wished they were dead.

[(Anonymous)]

I have an extensive teddy bear collection. People who know me in the real world would have a very hard time believing that of me.

[(Anonymous)]

I shoplifted crap all through high school. I have no idea what I was thinking.

No matter where I am or who I'm with, unless I'm specifically invited, I'm sure I'm intruding and people would rather I just left.

[(Anonymous)]

My confession is- I'm happy. And I'm not hiding it well. "I've all but riches bodily," and that's a lot to have.

[(Anonymous)]

I have an advanced degree and a job doing what I'm trained to do, and I'm pretty good at it and even enjoy it most of the time.

But I want to quit and have kids and be a housewife anyhow.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm almost ready to start publicly discussing and questioning religion. I'm not sure where that's taking me, because religion has long been a very private thing for me. Even starting to say what I think about it has me nervous. I'm not sure if I'd rather be naked.